'll be honest; I’ve been fantasizing about working in the fetish industry for about a decade and I still haven’t done any sex work. Why? Well, it’s not just the social stigma. My apartment’s decorated with self-made porn collages and I walk around town regularly in my “Tell Me About Your Fetish” shirt. It’s not even fear for what my family would think. Practically every family member I have knows I’m a strange kinky sex nerd with a porn obsession. The answer is as simple as it is disheartening: I know the severity of discrimination sex workers face and it scares me. Still, part of me always dreamed that there was another way: a career in sex or fetish that could offer financial security and a space to indulge in my passions without fear of overwhelming consequences from the outside world. As I clicked on Holly’s newest episode with Financial Dominatrix Allie Eve Knox, I hoped that she could outline a solution to my conundrum.
After all, success in the world of Financial Domination (or “findom”) doesn’t require penetrative sex, in-person meetings with clients, or even nudity. As Allie describes it, the skills needed have much more to do with long term relationship building and cultivation of an attractive persona for clients. I have to admit, listening to Allie describe the life of a Financial Dominatrix definitely got me excited, and why wouldn’t it? I already love (consensually) degrading men, so the idea of embodying an entitled brat and milking millions out of ‘pathetic’ paypigs really got me going. Plus, Allie is so obviously talented at her profession. Even in a casual interview setting she radiates an earnest yet cultivated domineering greed. There’s a glimmer in her eye as she describes not just the gifts she gets from clients but her business endeavors and her investments – anything lining her pockets. She has a tangible passion for wealth that’s eerily attractive, even for someone who’s never even dabbled in being a paypig before.
Unfortunately, my image of Financial Domination as the perfect kinky career free from the dangers of other sex work was smashed by the rest of Allie’s interview. Modern American culture’s vendetta against sexworkers (or what Allie and Holly jokingly call “The Whores”) doesn’t stop at full service workers. It doesn’t stop at adult performers. And no, it doesn’t even stop at in-person Dominatrixes.
Like many sex workers (and even sex educators), Allie is continually banned from social media platforms despite strictly following their guidelines. She’s on her third Instagram and has been banned from TikTok for being a “nude minor” despite being an adult woman in sweatpants. She’s forced to hop from account to account, platform to platform, with every move losing her hard-earned flowers. Being denied access to social media platforms and accounts means losing community, friends, and visibility, as well as one’s ability to sustain a business. As we spend more and more time online, these platforms become increasingly crucial public spaces which sex workers are systemically denied access to (despite the traffic their talents drive). This behavior from social media companies would be bad enough, but unfortunately the discrimination Allie and other sex workers face gets much worse.
Although I can’t spell out all the details here (you’ll need to listen to the episode for that!), suffice it to say that the amount of discrimination Allie has faced for her career is outlandish to the point of absurdity. She’s been banned from Cashapp, Venmo, and PayPal for “violations” as innocuous as selling her own dirty socks. Like so many others, she’s been denied service by a myriad of banks. When cryptocurrency arrived on the scene claiming to be the new horizon of free finances, Allie was one of the first to jump on the bandwagon. She needed a system free from anti-sex worker bias just to accomplish basic financial tasks most business owners take for granted. Yet, even the big promises of the crypto world fell short. She was banned from her coinbase account, denying her access to all her accrued wealth in cryptocurrency.
Despite earning large sums of money, Allie and other sex workers are systemically barred from receiving it, from storing it, and even from using it. Because of the stigma surrounding her profession, Allie is unable to buy homes herself because banks often won’t allow sex workers mortgages. She’s not even allowed to take out car loans in her own name. And what happened when she found loopholes and used her own hard earned money to get the material security she needs? Well, she got audited of course, and subjected to months of scrutiny and hours of interrogation by the IRS. They demanded to know why all of Allie’s major assets were in her (now ex) husband’s name despite being purchased with her money. The answer was infuriatingly obvious: despite her self-made (and meticulously recorded) wealth, Allie was legally denied the right to mortgage her home or finance her vehicle.
There’s a nasty irony in Allie’s story that I’m sure isn’t lost on other listeners. Allie has dedicated her life to money and she’s devilishly talented at procuring it. Some of the richest men in the country beg to give her gifts, fund her life, and even write her into their wills. She’s monetarily successful by almost every measure…and yet her financial worries only seem to grow. Why? Because she makes her money in a way that produces pleasure in other consenting adults. Because the context in which she received payment plays with erotic energy. Exciting men by taking power over them is related to sex, and sex, in the American view, is guilty until proven innocent.
The further into the episode I got, the more infuriated I became. Sex is a major part of so many people’s lives. Eroticism is baked into so many forms of mainstream media that are celebrated publicly. Porn and sexual services are extremely popular, massive industries. So why – why are those people most talented in and dedicated to these realms of human experience villainized? How can this sort of widespread, systematic and explicit discrimination be accepted let alone remain legal?
The future for sex workers can feel grim, but we can help to change that. Those of us with extra funds (that we’re actually allowed to access) can donate to organizations like The Free Speech Coalition who organize to fight laws and other policies that target sex workers and their livelihoods. We can pay sex workers for their work (that includes joining Holly’s Patreon, by the way!). Even when we have tight budgets we can use our voices to shift the narrative. Don’t tacitly agree when your loved ones spread conspiracy theories about human trafficking in the adult industry. Ask questions when your friends joke that selling foot pics is an easy cash grab for lazy people. Spread the word: it’s legal for social media, financial apps, and even banks to deny people crucial services just for participating in sex work. It happens all the time, and it needs to end.
Watch the full episode of Holly Randall Unfiltered with Allie Eve Knox
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